As parents, it’s extremely hard to see our kids struggle. We want to alleviate their pain and solve problems, so we jump right in and offer quick solutions. But often, our efforts only make US feel better. And we miss the opportunity to help our kids navigate their emotions, feel heard and develop healthy relational skills. So how do we guide kids through friendship struggles – the Yoda way?
The past few months, I’ve been spending time in classrooms doing research for my new book. I’m exploring the “weird stuff” that happens in middle school. I’ve asked over 100 tweens and teens, what should be included in this book and the responses have been powerful. The most frequently shared response is….JUDGEMENT. Not surprisingly, judgment… Continue reading Belonging Vs. Fitting-In at School…and at Home
I’ve found that many kids have a hard time differentiating between bullying and mean behavior. Understanding this difference helps kids know how to navigate each situation...
As my daughters have progressed through elementary school and into middle school, it’s been interesting to observe the changing social norms of boy-girl friendships. Some years, these friendships were natural. Boys were invited to birthday parties and over to play. Other years, that was no longer okay. Invite lists included only girls, school lunch tables were mostly divided by gender as were games on recess.
Quick Quiz: Which of these statements would you rather have said to you? “You need to help out more. I’ve been doing all the work around here lately.” “I feel overwhelmed lately by all of the work I’ve been doing around here. Can we talk about that?”
The ultimate measure of a successful life, “Do the people you care about love you back?” - Warren Buffett
Mean girl behavior, or relational aggression, isn't just a girl thing. Boys also experience these painful social interactions and may not even realize it's a form of bullying.